Monday, December 22, 2014

Hans Put on His Holiday Toupee

Hans had tried carefully to conceal the fact that he wore a toupee.  He ordered them online, never going to a store in-person.  He tried 8 different styles until he found one that was most "lifelike."  The fact that it came from the Raquel Welch "Hair U Wear" line just went to show how much he was willing to step outside of the box, finding just the right short style even though it was a women's wig.  Things were going smoothly; in fact, he convinced himself that he had yet to catch anyone's sidelong glances and eyes fluttering up to his topper. Success!

He headed assuredly to a family Christmas party where everyone remarked on his youthful appearance.  His yuletide glee rapidly deflated when, ladling spiked eggnog to hand to his Aunt Hattie, he realized she was wearing the same hairstyle.  His face fell while her's lit up.  What could he do? Quickly add a double shot of liquor into her crystal cup and hope her accusations were taken as drunken senility?  Oh, the truth had to come out.

Perhaps it was the holiday spirit that caused Hattie to grab his hand and take him into the next room.  She opened up her suitcase of a purse and pulled out a sparkly wig.

"Hans," she said with eyes gleaming, "I was going to wear this wig at the end of the night for a laugh.  You do it instead, because after all, when you come out with the truth, you might as well do it in grand style!"  Truer words were never spoken!

Hans put on his holiday toupee, took a deep breath, and bravely rejoined the party.  He also had several crystal cups of double-shot eggnog, but that's beside the point. (-;

No comments:

Post a Comment